Red Flags in Courtship by Mr Tunde Abiola
RCCG STRONG TOWERWhat are Red Flags in Courtship?
- Issues you should not ignore or excuse
- Issues that have the tendency to grow with time and become monsters if not given appropriate attention
- Indicators of possible fundamental problems
- Potential threats to your relationship dreams
- Pitfalls waiting to happen
What to look out for
NB: Applies to both gender
Spiritual Flags
- He doesn’t have a clear or definite salvation experience
- He is not serious about his walk with GOD
- He evidently lacks the fear of GOD
- He is not active in the kingdom
- He has remained a baby Christian for too long
- He is accountable to no one
- He despises Christian fellowship- prefers to roll with unbelievers
- Does not share or agree with your vision, purpose or calling
- He is hypocritical
Trust Flags
- He doesn’t want to introduce you as his fiancee
- She is not clear about her relationship with other guys
- She is extremely jealous and possessive
- He is very suspicious – finds it difficult to believe others
- He is an impulsive or habitual liar
- He blames everyone but himself
- She Paints everyone around her black
Past Life Flags
- He compares you consistently with his Ex
- She is still close to her Ex and discusses your relationship with him
- She is holding on dearly to an artifact of a past relationship and she is even touchy about it
- She was sexually active
- She was sexually abused
- He has had multiple breakups
- He has a child and has kept it from you
- He has been married before but his current status is not clear
Behavioral Flags
- He is rude and abusive when talking to others
- He is not courteous at all- no sorry, please or thank you
- Has issues controlling his temper
- Too materialistic, greedy, covetous or Stingy
- He can’t be trusted with money
- Has persistent hygiene issues
- She is lazy and not enterprising
- She gives you or others attitude a lot
- Has issues with substance abuse
Communication Flags
- He is too secretive and not open
- She can’t bridle her tongue or keep secrets
- He is snobbish, gives out the silent treatment or constantly moody
- Talks down to you
- Always require reassurance, very insecure
Family Flags
- There are family conditions that are not scriptural e.g. pregnancy before marriage
- She doesn’t like your family, siblings, parents
- There are serious family objections
- He is primarily responsible for his family/sibling
Sexual Flags
- He pressurizes for sex
- He watches/is addicted to porn, masturbation…
- She places little or no premium on sexual purity
- She is wayward in appearance
- He makes strange sexual requests or comments
General Recommendations
- There are no-issue free relationships, challenges are there to be surmounted.
- There are things you can change and there are those that are beyond you – align accordingly
- You need both truth and love to win in your relationships.
- It is better to lose a cherished relationship than to mortgage your future
- It takes two to tango, for your relationship to work, the other party must be at least as committed to it as you are.
- Any relationship that lowers your self-esteem consistently is injurious to your life.
- Anyone who believes he is doing you a favor by accepting you is not worthy of you.
- Love and accept yourself and know who you are before seeking a partner. Knowing who you are will probably eliminate up to 60% of people from your list of “eligible”
- Don’t expect too much from anyone but be willing to give your best.
- Learn the art of having crucial conversations – in relationships, silent is not golden.
